Clinging to Beliefs

Being wary of cults and inflexible ideas

At eighteen, I was one of the youngest people in the group at a hotel conference room. My sister had talked me into this, and I convinced my best friend to join me so I didn’t have to go alone. We were all gathered, standing around a stage where the most beautiful looking young man stood in front of a woman with her back to us. He asked her if she trusted the people standing just below her and she nodded yes. Then he pushed her backwards off the stage and she fell down to the crowd beneath who caught her.

Photo by Luan Cabral on Unsplash

The Teaser

Royce (I still remember his name because it so suited him and he is about the only reason my friend and I stayed), proceeded to give us a lecture on the value of trust and whether others saw us as trustworthy. When he was done, we were to walk around, approach each other, and ask if they trusted us based solely on our presence. Many of the women said “No” to me but I think all the men said yes. I’m not sure what the lesson was supposed to be except that maybe I should behave differently somehow around women.

This was Lifespring, a “human potential” organization popular from the seventies to the nineties. It was similar to better-known one called EST. I failed the first course by showing up late and had to register a second time where I attended alone. Overall, I can’t say I got anything out of it (except a broken foot), but I also wasn’t psychologically harmed the way I’ve read others were.

But one lesson stuck. They stressed that we should be wary of our beliefs. Beliefs cause you to act without thinking, to do things because you always have, and to remain committed to your behavior simply because you have been trained to do so. Of course, this teaching of theirs is a bit ironic because that’s exactly what they were doing to us: teaching us to believe their way instead of our own. But it did train me at a young age to at least examine my motivations before acting, and that was a worthy outcome. It certainly kept me from joining any further training groups.

Politics as cults

We tend to think of cults in a specific way. They’re either religious, or involve some kind of communal living, but they always include control over your behavior. And once you’re good and in, it’s very hard to leave.

Now I see that there are lesser cults that are just as dangerous. You don’t have to live with people for them to control you. Nor do you have to be persuaded by religion. Our politics have become cultlike now in that they have a kind of cultural control over large groups of people who keep you accountable. You’re either wearing the hat or you’re not. And if you want to be invited to the parties, you’d better wear the hat. You learn to believe for the benefit of social inclusion, and that’s very appealing to lonely people.

Belief systems can be just as hard to forego as a cult. Part of what’s difficult is that you’re the one who made the decision to follow a particular belief, and if you change your mind about its value, then you’re questioning your own judgment as well as all the acts committed in pursuit of your newfound belief. Changing beliefs can feel shameful.

Once you’ve been through such a changed process, you may be wearier of developing any future beliefs, but some of these can be good too. Like all things in this mortal life, there is no easy way through. You must consider all your choices at every turn. You’re required to think for yourself even on topics you may not feel well prepared for, much like life itself.

Photo by Liv Hema on Unsplash

Worthy beliefs

I keep my beliefs on a short list now, and it tends to be filled with the obvious. I believe in right over wrong and that’s based on harm to other beings. I believe in helping when and where I can, especially in instances that are brought to my doorstep (you would be surprised how much good you can do if you only helped those in your path). I believe in an ultimate good even though none of us is immune from the suffering of living. That last one is a choice, really. Plenty of people prefer to choose pessimism, and they’re free to do so.

Most of all, I believe in keeping an open mind that allows you space to change your thoughts. Just because you once felt certain of a thing does not mean you have to continue to do so. Even if you were the pious rooftop shouter convincing all your neighbors you knew the way, no one is stopping you from coming down off the roof and saying, “Hey, I don’t believe that anymore.” In fact, showing your change is the best remedy to any damage you may have caused by believing.

Surprises

I was surprised to find a Wikipedia page for Lifespring, and more surprised to learn about one of its former participants:

“One prominent critic of Lifespring is Ginni Thomas, wife of Supreme Court Justice Clarence Thomas. A congressional aide when she took the course, Mrs. Thomas said in an interview with the Post that she was troubled by exercises that involved stripping, sexual questions, and body shaming. After talking with a cult deprogrammer, she decided she needed to stop participating, but it took several months of work to overcome the “high-pressure tactics” to fully break with Lifespring. Afterwards, she received “constant phone calls” to pressure her to stay with the group, and ended up relocating to another part of the country to escape the calls.”

I don’t know what kind of course she had but there was no stripping or sex involved when I was there. Did she meet Royce?

Sometimes, I wish I had known Royce’s last name. Now that I’m an old woman, I know he was probably just putting on an act for a paycheck. But he made my friend and I swoon and I remember him more than most of their silly lessons. I’d just like to see how he wound up and if he managed to stay out of jail. Because that would be a terrible waste of your mortal life. Thanks for reading.